Black Hat No. 22 – The Hunch

BLACK HAT

I’ve got a hunch – something really bad is going to happen today…

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

Do you mean the hunch on your back is talking to you – or do you mean like when a Jedi says he or she has a “Bad feeling about this”?

BLACK HAT

Ok just forget about it – it’s all fine – have a nice day.

 

Black Hat No. 18 – It’s a State of Mind Thing

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

Ba ha ha ha – you’re not wearing your hat, you look so stupid and ugly!

BLACK HAT

It’s in the wash. Besides, the physical wearing of a hat makes no difference. even without it I am still “Black Hat” from head to toe – it’s a state of mind thing…

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

I can’t look at you like this. Really – throw a blanket over yourself or something…

 

Black Hat No. 16 – Lottery

BLACK HAT

I won fifty thousand pounds on the lottery last week.

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

Wow that’s fantastic! Are you going to buy yourself something special and squirrel the rest away for old age?

BLACK HAT

No, I already spent it all on pathetic things I don’t need or want.

 

Black Hat No. 14 – England vs. Latvia

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

Did you see the match last night? I thought England played really well against Latvia and deserved the draw.

BLACK HAT

Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

BLACK HAT

Jennings, Charlton, Moore, Keegan, Lineker, Law, Banks and Best. Latvia, draw, “No more hero’s any more…”

 

Black Hat No. 13 – Background Music

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

That’s some beautiful music playing in the background, it sounds like one of Chopin’s Nocturnes – Opus 9 Number 2 if I’m not mistaken. It always reminds me of the sense of satisfaction I feel at the end of an honest, hard days work. Can you play the piano?

BLACK HAT

Sure, if you don’t mind it sounding like the senseless, discordant, insane hammering on the keys by a drunk anarchist.

 

Black Hat No. 12 – Nihilist

BLACK HAT

BREXIT. Referendums, Elections, Borders, Immigration, NHS, Left Wing, Right Wing, Corrupt Business, LOL

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

Wow that’s a lot of hot topics – where to start? What are your thoughts on how the BREXIT negotiations will work out?

BLACK HAT

Do you even know how to spell ‘nihilist’?

 

Black Hat No. 10 – Krishna

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

Do you ever think about how Jesus or Buddah could save you?

BLACK HAT

Nope

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

Krishna?

BLACK HAT

Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna

Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare.

Nice orange robes, haircuts and crazy smiles, but alas, no.

 

Black Hat No. 9 – Holiday

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

Which is your perfect kind of holiday – at the snow spending all day skiing and snowboarding, breathing in the fresh clean air and being amazed by nature, or laying on warm white tropical sands surrounded by a turquoise sea listening to the waves gently washing your worries away?

BLACK HAT

Do you mean would I prefer to throw myself off a mountain or run screaming into the sea?

 

Black Hat No. 6 – Who are you Anyway?

THE VOICE FROM ABOVE

You know – my life is very difficult, being so full of family, friends, worries and work. You and I have known each other for a long time and we’ve been through a lot together. What i’m trying to say is, that I feel I’m really getting to know the real “you”. Despite the occasional bouts of misery and anger you go through, I’d like to say that I consider you to be a real friend and dare B say, “brother”?

BLACK HAT

Who the £*&< are you anyway!